I am not generally a controversial person (mom is probably laughing right now). I do not generally rant. So today I feel somewhat justified in expressing a few feelings.
Stop comparing kids.
I have enjoyed, for the most part, my time in Rexburg. I like my ward, have a few friends, and am finishing my schooling within the next year. However, it seems to me that Rexburg (and I could probably say, any area with young parents) has a flaw (besides its winters)--every new parent, or newlywed, or single-person-who-obviously-knows-how-to-raise-a-child-better-than-you feels the need to give you advice, or compare your child with another child. Sometimes I feel like we're comparing pogs or baseball cards; what weight your child is, when they got teeth, how soon they walked--any statistic can be utilized. I fear saying anything about my child because I KNOW I will end up hearing "well, my child walked when she was 6 months old, but don't worry, your child will figure it out eventually". Congrats--your child is a freaking ANOMALY. Or better yet, the "are you a good parent who is giving your child every option in life" conversation. There is a fairly good chance that my children will grow up eating hot dog casserole and fish stick sandwiches on white bread. Sometimes, I don't serve vegetables AT ALL. It's because I hate green beans. Occasionally, I let my child watch Scooby Doo, because it keeps her entertained, and is most likely rotting her brain. She may never wear shoes in the Summer (or Spring, Winter, or Fall), and will wear plenty of hand-me-downs (thank you, sister and sister-in-laws!). Despite all of this, I get the distinct feeling that my kid will turn out just fine. And I'm ok with that. Here are some pictures of my kid eating goldfish crackers. Because they are good.
3 comments:
Ah yes. The comparing moms and non moms. They are the worst. I think people (myself included) do it especially when we aren't friends with other moms but are put in social situations where we have or feel the pressure to talk to other moms and so we talk about the one thing we have in common- babies. I've found that if I surround myself with really good friends the topic never comes up. My best friend has a little girl just six weeks older than Penny and there is never any comparing going on because we have more important things to talk about. Every week at church people would ask if Penny was walking yet and it drove me CRAZY. So I know how you feel. I hope you never feel that I am trying to compare because I'm not, if I ask something I genuinely want to know because I love that little Riley girl and you! Surround yourself with good friends and it will make it so you don't hear the complaining as much.
As far as Goldfish- they are my lifesaver. Penny will gobble them up and I let her. And even though I don't like hot dog casserole or fish stick sandwiches, Harrison does, so you can bet that our kids will have them too. Along with the hand me downs, which I am not ashamed of one bit! I love that we can all share maternity clothes and baby clothes.
Hugs. It will get better.
I think that Erin is right. It isn't always comparing, just trying to make conversation. I had some that walked at 9 months and some that walked at 14 months. None of them are any smarter than the others. Same with teeth, some got them at 4 months and some much later. They only need to be loved and cared for. My daughters and daughters-in-law do an amazing job with their children. Riley is an adorable, smart, funny little princess who knows that she very much loved. That's all that matters! By the way, you talked about not wearing shoes like that was bad? :-)
She is so so so adorable! I want an update on your cute family. :) <3 <3 Miss you!
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