Singles Ads and English...

Have you ever been doing something really important, only to find yourself being sucked into something really unimportant? Yes, me too. I love being an english major, almost more than I love Nachos (which says a lot, if you know my deep relationship with nachos). One of the best parts of being an english major is having the ability to enter into a classroom and know that if you bring up Hawthorne's recurring theme of redemtion in "The Scarlet Letter", no one looks at you as if you have something grotesque in your teeth. Or that you can meet them at any given time and discuss the marxist theory of analysis and not have to explain who or what that is. Ahhh--english. My one true love (I'm sorry, Nachos and Cristiano Ronaldo). Well, into every relationship there must fall some rain. And for english, that rain comes in the form of writing
Résumés.

The résumé is a unique form of writing, created by dry, caustic business men who obviously have red personalities. In writing a sample résumé, one must first find a job listing to write in accordance with. As I looked through craigslist.com to find the "perfect" job for me, I stumbled upon something that has changed life as I know it. I speak of the Singles Ads.


"Lookin to have some fun!!! --33"

Hey, i'm a nice guy, lookin for a nice girl, and if you are a nice girl we should hang out!!! i love to be outdoors, and i'm a gamer but don't let that get you down! i'm not one of those nerdy gamers. i'm in shape--about 5'11, 185 lbs, and i like to be active. i'm looking for someone whos pretty, active, in shape, has a sense of humor, and likes to be outdoors too! i have a picture, so send me an email w/pics and i'll write back!!

Ah. The desperation and poor grammar of it all, the mystery! Is Mr. "i" really 5'11"? Does he have WOW permanently displayed on his home computer? You can almost smell the denial reeking forth from the misspellings and overuse of exclamation points.

But amidst my ravagings of grammar and caustic mockery of each hopeless post, I felt a little twinge in my heart. Why shouldn't Mr. "i" and Ms. "Fisically Fit" be happily coupled? Why do they not deserve a little lovin? I was overwhelmed at the thought. Someone should review the "men looking for women" and "women looking for men" listings and do a little matchmaking.

In the end, did I find a job listing? No, and that really sucks. But I found some humanity, and that's what counts. Good job, all you desperate singles--good job.

I recognize that I haven't written lately. The fact is, my life is utterly boring. And my camera is broken. Life has been incredibly routine of late. I do the essentials: run, homework, work, and eat. Intermixed with that are soccer, MMA, Latin dancing, and temple trips. And lots and lots of english.
The following are pictures of my weekly routine. Enjoy!


While I'm dreaming, this is my boyfriend, Cristiano Ronaldo. HOT.

This is BYU-I in the summer; it constantly suprises me that more people don't attend.

This just made me laugh. Hehe. :-D

This is essentially me at MMA--with someone cowering with fear on the ground!!!

Yeah--I slay vampires in my spare time. (Side Note: This movie is HILARIOUS.)

This is me, Latin Dancing. I'm pretty good. :-D

I kind of look like that when I play soccer. Minus latin and male.




I love you all!!!

-Me

Bees, and Why We Loathe Them.

Nasty little creatures, are they not? Though I do appreciate the magnificent tasks that these tiny creatures do, such as making honey and pollentating trees, I cannot remove the vendetta I seem to have against them.

Why is this, you ask? How could anyone dislike such an honest, hardworking, attractive insect?

Two words: unprovoked attack.

I was enjoying the first beautiful summer day here in the Burg; had accomplished a lot, went out to Monkey Rock to enjoy the sunshine. The day was perfect--almost comparable to Milton's idea of Eden in "Paradise Lost." Little did I know, my blissful summer world was about to be destroyed. An invader swooped in through the open car window, running straight into my arm--yet no damage. This blip on my unusually great day seemed inconsequencial, and I brushed off the corpse of the once active bee. Lo and behold, to my great suprise , a painful stinging began. Not in my arm, as I would have supposed it, but in my upper thigh! The hateful bee had ejected his stinger into my unprotected leg, injecting venom as a last, vindictive measure.

Being the brave, long-suffering sort of person I am, I hurriedly pulled the stinger out, and sent it out the window to join it's launcher. The wound was miniscule--hardly worth fussing over--so I iced it, and Katie and I had a good laugh.

The next day, however, it seemed the horrid little vermin had left his mark; my leg was itchy and swollen to the point of making movement uncomfortable. Forging onward, I continued my daily duties and once again iced the sting. The next day was torture. I couldn't sleep; ice wasn't helping; the swelling and itching had moved down and aroung me leg. Walking was no longer an option. So I took some pain killers, and my new buddy Benadryl, and cut class. It did help me sleep. But that's about it. Under the loving instructions of my dear mother I went to the healthcare center here on campus--fifteen minutes later, the eccentric (but very nice) doctor told me "looks like you're mildly allegic! If you'd have been really allergic, you'd probably be dead!"

Thanks, doc.

There is one upside to this newfound allergy--I now know the contents of our freezer better than anyone ever should, and have made educated decisions as to which frozen foods are best for icing a mountainous leg.

I prefer the frozen pumpkin in square tupperware.

The bottom line?

Bees are not my buddy right now.

Life in General

Life in general is good. Or, as old Brother Cheney would say: "I just never had it so good". School is going well. I'm having to adjust a lot--upper level classes are hard!!! I'm taking spanish, a couple english classes, my first ed class, and old Testament; no favorites yet, they're all good! My professors rock--I can't say enough good about them!

I will post some more pictures...when my camera starts working again!

Ummmm.....ok! My newest favorite things to do include: MMA, homework, engaging in lively debates, and salsa dancing. MMA IS AMAZING. I love it; there aren't many people in the club right now, but everyone is really good at fighting and we have some serious good times! I'm finally learning to keep my guard up, and I'm getting better at grappling. Mildly. :-D Homework is fun....ish.....and very educational. That is good. Or, as we say at work, "that is neat." The latest of lively debates have included, but have not been limited to: marriage, feminism, the commandment to multiply and replenish the Earth, Shakespeare, and anything remotely literature related.
Salsa is my Friday Event. Down main street, in a creepy, rundown, old building in some back alleyway there is a creepy metal staircase. This leads to a door. Behind that door is a a huge, dimly lit, unfinished ballroom--and the greatest time you can have in Rexburg! A bunch of the latin kids hang out there, they play lots of great music, and we dance like crazy! I'm still pretty new at it, but my buddies Shazer, Aleks, and Elite say I'm getting better :-D Trevor, I will match my latin buddies up against your ballroom team any day!!
Our donut/scones/cinnamon roll night was a success--Jumbalaya night to follow! Casey, your recipe is a huge favorite with our ward, and, more especially, among the southerners. Thank you! :-D

K....not much more to say!!! Sun is coming to the Burg! Everyone please keep your fingers crossed that it stays. And gets much hotter.

I love you all!!

BABIES!!!!!

NIECE #3 HAS GRACED US WITH HER PRESENCE!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D

So, my new niece was born last night; I'm so excited!!! From the pictures, she looks adorable--from the fact that she is family, I KNOW she's beautiful :-D She was 7 lbs 14 oz, and basically super amazing. Congrats to Whitney and Spency and My Girls--I love you all!!! And I'm so exited to come home and see you all!

So, that was pretty much the only thing in the blog about babies. Just a good title. Although I could tell you about the sudden influx of babies in Rexburg--in the past month alone, I know 4 couples who have had babies; within the next 2-3 months, 5 more people are due. It's baby time in the Burg!

Onward-->So most of you know I want to serve a mission. There have been many different reactions to that idea, but for the most part I've gotten a lot of support; thank you!! However, even if the opportunity to serve a mission at this point does not come up, I'm happy at the changes in my life while I've been preparing for one. Recently, I was asked on a date by a young man who lives up here; the date was planned around a movie we both wanted to see. Upon further inspection, however, I found out that the movie was Rated R. But it was rated R for blood and things like that, so it's not really that bad, I rationalized. And I didn't want to tell him that I felt uncomfortable, because I didn't want to be rude or lose this guy's interest. But I knew that if I wanted to continue saying that I wanted to serve a mission, I could not make exceptions. I debated this for two days, till I finally came to the conclusion that if the guy lost respect for me, well, that's his problem--he must have a skewed idea of respect. And I could not put man's respect above that of my Father. So, I sent him a quick text, explaining shortly and asking if we could pick a different movie. He agreed, and didn't give me a bad time about it! This was really the first time up here that I've had to make a stand like that--and I'm eternally grateful I did. Thanks, mom and dad, for giving me the ability, the strength, and the knowledge to say "no" when I need to.

That's about it for this blog--Life is Good.

I love you all!

Asoutherngrace

Hamburgers...way too fun!!

Ben--he's pretty much a stud :-D

Rose! ....and creepy Ben in the back...

I'm so gangsta

GIANT PIDGEON.

ROCKIN.

I have a favorite blog that I keep updated on; http://asoutherngrace.blogspot.com/

Basically one of my favorites--Grace, the lady who writes it, is hilarious! She just about cracks me up everytime, and her recipes are easy and yummy. So last night, in a characteristic burst of confidence, I thought I would email Grace and tell her how much I enjoy her blog.

AND SHE TOTALLY WROTE ME BACK!!!!!

It was probably the highlight of my hour. Not even kidding.

Though it was almost topped by the GIANT PIDGEON sitting outside our apartment today! SO AWESOME!

Love you all!

HOLY CRAP

So......funny story.

The last time I posted was when I was still enjoying the snow; needless to say, that was quite a while ago. SPRING HAS COME TO THE BURG!!!! Today was gorgeous! I was very excited; it was amazing! Life has been good; pretty much the same old thang!
--> Work is going well; last month I was the #1 associate, so this month I'm trying to stay in the Top 5 at least; the bonus check is quite nice :-D I am now also Services Support certified, so I get to help all the technically challenged people (Like bringing coal to Newcastle...).
A typical conversation goes something like this:

Me: Thank you for calling Melaleuca! The Wellness Company. My Name is Abby, in Services Support; may I begin by getting your customer ID or ten-digit phone number?
Person: Um, Yeah, I'm really having trouble with my online order...do I still need to give you my number?
Me: Yes, that would be perfect.
Person: ##########
Me: Awesome! Now what can I do for you today?
Person: Well, I'm online and I want to use my free dollars on my order, but I don't know how.
Me: Ok, I'm going to look into your account online and see what I can do....have you tried checking the little box next to the item, labeled 'Loyalty Shopping $'?
Person: No....what box?
--->Generally, this conversation carries on for another five to ten minutes till I decide to just do it for them and then tell them to refresh their page. You would be suprised how many people do not know how to refresh their page.

--->School rocks. My teachers are all really neat, I'm learning a lot--yay school.
--->Church is the coolest EVER. My ward is fun (mostly, but then we can't all be this near perfection), my Bishopric is AMAZING--truly some of the greatest men I know. All in all, can't complain!
--->Everything other than that; AWESOME.

.............Yeah, I don't know what else to say! Life is good. In all complete honesty, life is good.